BRENT STOLLER

A hopeful, (sometimes) humorous take on the traumas of infertility and pregnancy loss.

Where Should We Go?

Here’s a ridiculous confession:

There are few roles I resist more than being the guy who picks the restaurant.

I’m going to lunch today with a friend, and when he asked me where we should go, I could feel the tension surge through me.

It’s too much pressure. Whenever I choose, I’m on edge throughout the meal, as if how much the other person likes their meal is a reflection of how much they like me.

I’m much more comfortable living with their choice than worrying about how they feel about mine.

I acknowledge this is not a healthy way to be, and that picking a restaurant is just not that big of a deal.

But I know this fear is a surface-level manifestation of issues that run much deeper.

Why am I not more confident in what I want? Why do I relegate my desires to second-class status? Why do I care so much about what other people think?

Unfortunately, I’ve been this way for so long, I’m not sure how to stop.

Any suggestions?

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This article originally appeared on 100 Naked Words.