BRENT STOLLER

A hopeful, (sometimes) humorous take on the traumas of infertility and pregnancy loss.

Hang in There

How frustrating is it when you know what to do, but can’t do it?

In the abstract, making a change seems like it should be as straightforward as following a recipe:

Mix these ingredients in this order and, voila, chocolate cake!

But it’s never that simple.

This has been evident to me in my personal and professional lives. And this morning it was evident in my recreational pursuit: golf.

I went to the practice range to work on implementing a new technique in my swing, an adjustment I learned a few weeks ago during my lesson with a teaching professional.

While the new technique still feels a little uncomfortable — which is good, because what has felt normal wasn’t working — I’m now able to apply it when I take practice swings.

But put a golf ball in the way, and I quickly revert to the pattern with which I’m familiar.

When there’s a result on the line, I‘m unable to commit to the improved process.

I tell myself that this will change with time, that the more work I put in, the more confidence I’ll have to execute when the bullets are live.

And while I’m sure that’s true, for the moment, it’s a case of so close, yet so far away.

Instead of chocolate cake, I’m buried in a pile of chocolate mush.

*****

This originally appeared in 100 Naked Words.