BRENT STOLLER

A hopeful, (sometimes) humorous take on the traumas of infertility and pregnancy loss.

Patience is a Virtue

Man overlooking the ocean from a rocky coastline

“Don’t be a jerk.”

I’m not proud I require that reminder, but I remind myself of it frequently.

In many areas of my life, patience is among my strongest virtues. I’m patient at work, and in my friendships, and in my marriage. Thankfully.

It’s the minuscule, daily minutia with which I struggle, though.

I can’t stand it when I get stuck behind someone driving under the speed limit; or when people congregate in front of an entrance way/exit; or when somebody tries to get on the elevator as I’m trying to get off.

Have you no regard for anybody else?!?!

My stomach constricts, as my brain sorts through the surge of frustration.

But before that anger flashes across my face or, mercifully, comes out of my mouth, the above reminder breaks in, like those alerts from the National Weather Service aimed at keeping you out of harm’s way.

While I’m appreciative of this intervention, I hate that these “offenses” have such an incessant impact on me.

I need to get better at brushing them off — or ignoring them in the first place.

They’re out of my control, they’re the definition of insignificant and they’re sapping energy that could be used for something more constructive.

But mostly, I don’t want those things on my radar because, thus far, they’ve awakened the worst version of me.

And at some point in the future, when I reflect back on my life, that’s not the person I want to see.

*****

This originally appeared on 100 Naked Words.