BRENT STOLLER

A hopeful, (sometimes) humorous take on the traumas of infertility and pregnancy loss.

30 Days of Joy: I Took a Cold Shower…Almost

Man standing under the shower

Note: This article is the next step in my challenge to find joy in something — anything — every day for 30 days. Today’s entry is part 5.

Recently, I wrote about how I wanted to take cold showers but couldn’t.

This morning, I decided I could.

I don’t know what flipped that switch, but as I turned on the water, I decided to stop short with the dial. I’d built up the challenge far too much in my mind, and it was time I knocked it down a notch.

Just do it, right?

Standing outside the shower stall, I bounced on the balls of my feet, my fingers flickering with energy, like an MMA fighter about to enter the octagon.

After a few deep breaths, I braced myself for the arctic blast, closed my eyes and forced myself under the frigid stream.

Except it wasn’t frigid.

In fact, it could barely be described as cool. It was closer to tepid than it was terrifying.

I’m no plumber, but my guess is it’s a byproduct of the oppressive summer heat. Everything’s hotter in Texas right now, including my shower.

This should be a good problem to have — and I know it is for my wife — but at the moment, it’s preventing me from conquering a small fear that could inspire bigger rewards.

As I rinsed off, my disappointment was undeniable.

I was annoyed that my newfound nerve had gone for naught, and I was discouraged that I didn’t know when I’d get to try again.

But best of all, I was happy that I was upset.

*****

This originally appeared on 100 Naked Words.