BRENT STOLLER

Writer. Advice giver. Peanut butter and chocolate enthusiast.

What to Do When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

Man beneath a rock arch under a starry sky

Rejection is inevitable. But that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

Rationally, we understand it’s part of the process, the raw end of the deal.

If you engage in anything, be it dating or creating or suggesting a restaurant for lunch, you run the risk of being rebuffed.

And even though you know it’s coming at some point, you still feel blindsided when it does.

Recently, I wrote about how I’ve been enjoying a surge in my website’s email subscriber base, a critical development for any writer hoping to build an audience.

Thanks to the List Goal extension from the company Videofruit, I’ve been constantly reminded of this burgeoning success. Every time I open a new internet browser window, there’s a counter that shows how many people have signed up.

And over the last week or so, that counter has done nothing but increase.

Until today.

Since installing the extension, I’ve always had a hint of nervousness when I first launch Google Chrome. But lately, that nervousness has been mixed with excitement, a hopeful anticipation of seeing just how much my number has gone up.

Which is why it felt like a stomach punch to see that the number had gone down.

Thankfully, it didn’t decrease by much.

But what hurt was that it decreased at all — a hurt that had nothing to do with the fact I’m now farther from where I’m trying to go.

As a writer, my goal is to offer value to you, the reader. That could be in the form of humor, perspective, education or inspiration, or some combination of the four.

And the only way I know to do that is to be as authentic as possible.

What you read is who I am.

Though it can spell trouble for my relationships, I’m often more real in my written words than I am in real life.

Which means when someone rejects my writing, they’re rejecting me.

At least, that’s what it feels like.

Like many, I presume, I struggle to believe that I’m “good enough,” whatever that means. This idea is the root from which all my other issues arise.

And every “Unsubscribe” registers as a validation of that belief.

I get that this is an overreaction of my ego, and I get that not everyone will like what I write or have an interest in what I have to say.

Still, it’s disheartening to think someone disliked my message enough or was uninterested enough that they deemed it worth their while to officially banish me from their inbox.

That’s just the way it is, though. And I have to live with that.

I have to accept that I will never get everyone to accept me.

But if I were to try, the only chance I’d have is to keep giving them things to reject.

 

 

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